Help i want to die :(?

remember i told you about me and my boyfrind of 5 years relationship.... i called him and he picked up i allowed him to talk first nd h said tht his cousin died that's y he as busy and didn't want to tak to me an hi brother was i don't know what!!! and he commented on my sms that i have sent him and he said tht all the words i said were like daggers and he got terribly mad at me to the extent that he had hatred in his heart toward me... i explained my point of view and h said all what was between us with all the sms i sent is gone with the wind .... i felt sad i want him to trust me again? how ca i do it? when i sms now he would answer ok and that's it ...what shall i do i wanna kill myself!